Losing someone you love is unquestionably one of the most painful things you will ever experience. That being said, a person doesn't have to die for you to experience grief. Grief is an emotion that may be experienced after any significant loss. Ending a relationship, having a miscarriage, losing a pet, being let go from a job, losing a house and becoming ill are all losses that may require grieving depending on how significant that loss is to you. What’s significant to you may not be significant to someone else. That’s okay. Your feelings are valid whether others would feel similarly or not.
Grieving is a process and with it comes a wide range of emotions. One day you may feel extreme sadness and other times you feel rage. On another you may feel guilt or even relief. As long as you are feeling, you are grieving. Kubler-Ross pioneered the stages of grief model which includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This is not a linear process and you can expect to move back and forth between the stages. This is normal.
Grief can become complicated, however, when you become stuck in one or more of these stages. Maybe you’re using alcohol, drugs, sex and/or work to avoid thinking about the loss and are going through the motions of life as if nothing has changed (denial). Perhaps you are so overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and despair that you can't get out of bed, care for your children and begin having recurring thoughts of suicide (depression). Some losses are naturally harder to accept and not everyone will be able to relate to what you are going through. Losing a child, losing someone to suicide, losing a parent at a young age, learning a loved one was murdered, or knowing the individual was suffering before their passing are all examples that might halt one’s ability to grieve. This becomes even more complex when the mourner has unresolved feelings that were never expressed to the deceased.
Grief and bereavement counseling will help you to move through the stages of grief. I promise to provide you with a safe, non-judgmental space to share your feelings about the loss and the impact it’s had on you. No loss is too big or too small. Really.
Self-care is essential during the grieving process, so if this has been slipping (that’s okay) we will work to get you back on track. This includes sleeping, eating well, exercising, connecting with loved ones and getting outside. Because not everyone, myself included, may have experienced what you are going through, I will provide you with resources and help you connect to others on a similar healing journey. If you or someone you love are struggling, please reach out for support.
